JUDGE JOHN’S
SEFTON RUFC CORK TOUR 2006
Another successful tour organised by Judge John...
SATURDAY
The Tour Team met at Liverpool Airport Weatherspoon’s Bar easily recognisable in tour shirts and an assortment of hats, with an additional hat and something for the weekend, Sir supplied by our Australian Sponsor we were in time for a quick pint to whet the appetite before boarding for Cork.
The flight was short and with coach waiting when we arrived, we were soon in the Hotel, booked in, and waiting for the Irish stew as promised by the Judge. Fortunately, we were offered a menu, those unfortunates who opted for the Irish stew expecting of thick Liverpool Scouse that puts hair on your chest were given, what looked like, a bowl of gruel to go with the beer.
Strong representations were made to the Chef.
Not wanting to waste any drinking time we departed enblock to town (Cork) to sample the local beer and hospitality. We had no trouble getting in Reardon’s found a space and it was not long before the place was buzzing – we had been directed to the right pub.
On return to the Hotel Sefton met the ‘Delegates’ of the ‘Women’s’ Conference and entertained them with some well known songs until the early hours.
SUNDAY
After a full IRISH breakfast the judge held court.
The bailiffs, suitably dressed to blend into any gay bar, dragged the plaintiffs before the Judge to be punished for any misdemeanour real or imagined. Without any defence the prosecuting lawyer had a field day and the Judge metered out the penalties to the amusement and laughter of the audience the only interruption being the Hotel Fun Police telling the bailiffs to put their clothes on.
11.30 We boarded the coach for the ‘Kinsale Sevens’ eighty men’s and women’s teams competing over two days. We arrived at the 7s showed our ID, registered and tagged with a fluorescent pink wrist band we watched an afternoon of men’s and women’s rugby from outside the beer tent with usual comments jokes and good fun.
The finals finished about six some of the Tour Team remained on site to finish off their beer tickets and squashed shoulder to shoulder into the beer tent to join the beer throwing, scrummaging, shouting, dancing and general bedlam in head banging noise to celebrate the end of a good days rugby.
Others returned to Kinsale to enjoy the local hospitality, food and beer to be joined later by the head bangers. Rugby had taken over the town with players and spectators roaming the pubs in high sprits.
12 O’clock and Sefton had to go, too early some thought as the night was still young.
The coach trip to the hotel was hilarious with songs, games and jokes. Back at the Hotel we carried on in good humour with Hotel Fun Police in close proximity.
MONDAY
Another IRISH breakfast and another day for drinking and rugby. After some recuperation we headed for Douglas for a social game. With twelve less than able players and three players from Douglas we played two short halves and had an enjoyable game of rugby on a sunny afternoon.
When everyone was ready the players and spectators gave us all a lift back to their clubhouse to enjoy a few beers and refreshments
The Court was held again with the Officers of the Court in full regalia the Judge in wig and gown, the Chief prosecutor in wig and gown and the bailiffs in their black leather and chains and complete with handcuffs and whips. The assembly including Sefton, Douglas and the social members of the club witnessed a Sefton Court in Action with punishments handed out to suit the crimes.
Another pint and a trip across the road to a local landmark to sample the delights of Douglas and
back to the Hotel and a quick change before gathering for the coach and meeting the lads from Douglas for a pub crawl of Cork.
While waiting for the Team the Sefton Choir assembled around the piano for songs and were joined by one of the guests who joined in the singing and then sang for us ‘Amazing Grace’ the choir listened in silence, she had an amazing voice.
Everyone on the bus, sitting on the seats and floor we arrived in Cork, into the Pub and a quick pint before some left for a Chinese Banquet while the others with the Douglas lads started around the local hostelries. The hours and alcohol beginning to tell the ‘eaters’ split up with wiser voting for the Hotel the fool hardy rejoining the ‘shots and stout’ pub tour. After a few more we drifted into Reardens in twos and threes feigning to be sober.
12 O’clock the bell tolls, the downstairs bar closes and the juniors shed euros and go upstairs to the Club, while the Seniors go back to Hotel to join the others.
At the Hotel determined to carry on the ‘piano man’ was persuaded to play and carried on for the next five plus hours playing by ear and not missing a tune -amazing. Those choristers wanting a late breakfast went bed; the others stayed up had early breakfast and then went to bed.
TUESDAY
The last breakfast, a trip to Cork and a walk in the rain to freshen up. The more energetic going for a swim in the Hotel pool.
A subdued ‘hair of the Dog’ and a bar snack in the lounge before the Chief Bailiff summoned the Judge before Windy for a surprise presentation. - Colourful fluorescent hat with dangly bits, key fob vibrator and a blow up doll, not forgetting the personalised Munster shirt and cap as a reminder and a thank you for a great tour.
A coach trip to Cork, a short flight with a bumpy landing and back home.
Disappointments
Not seeing the Bunny Club dressed up as ‘Ladies’ going into a tea shop for tea and cream cake.
Not going to the candle lit pub with its deep leather arm chairs
The Continuum
Douglas Rufc Visited Liverpool to play Mossley Hill the following Saturday.
Seftons Australian Sponsor posing as a Pub/Club Manager arranged Food & Refreshments at the pub and entry into some of Liverpool’s hot spots to be joined by Sefton players in Black tie after the Club Dinner.
Rugby, it’s more than a Game.
Thank you to
Douglas Rufc For their hospitality
Silver Springs Moran Hotel, Cork and the Hotel Fun Police
More thanks
The judge received more thanks and gifts at the Club Dinner when will it end?
Next Tour
Mystery Tour 2007
Deposits to the Judge October 2006
